Ryan: Aftermath
by Yellowwolf
Summary: Added scene to 'Ryan' season 2. Clark goes over to Lex's because he needs to return the comic book Lex gave Ryan ... and because he needs his friend.


**Disclaimer**: I don't own them.

**Author's note:** This story is an added scene to Ryan, Season 2, episode 8. If you don't remember, Ryan is the kid who can read minds. This is the second time he appeared on Smallville and the last too. He died, sadly enough. This episode nearly made me cry.

**Aftermath**

Clark had been in a daze ever since leaving the hospital. The drive to Lex's mansion had passed so quickly that Clark was sure time had fast-forwarded. It was a miracle he had stayed on the road and hadn't crashed. He actually just didn't remember the drive. He knew he should never have gotten in his car in the first place but he needed to return the comic book Lex had given Ryan and perhaps he just needed to be with him now. For some reason, he though Lex might be of better help than Lana, Chloe, Pete and even his parents. Lex always knew what to do or say.

He suddenly found himself in front of the doors to Lex's office. He didn't remember getting out of his car. His body seemed to be acting on its own now. He pushed open the heavy wooden door, the comic book clutched tightly in his hand. His friend looked up from his laptop and immediately shut it down. Lex stood up and walked to the other side of his desk.

"Come in," Lex said gently as Clark remained standing in the doorway. Clark looked like hell but that was to be expected. He knew how much Clark had cared for Ryan and knew the feeling had been mutual. Even he had taken a liking to the kid. It was sad that such a young person was taken from them so soon.

Clark managed to get his legs moving again. So far for his body acting on its own. "I came to bring back your comic book," Clark said, voice empty and hollow as he held up the copy, "Figured you might want it back."

"Keep it. " Lex said softly. He had the feeling Clark was not dealing with this very well. An emotionless Clark was never good. Clark always shared his emotions, Lex had learned to read him, even knew when he was lying although Clark said he was telling the truth. It was all a part of the mystery that was Clark Kent.

"Thanks," Clark replied, letting his arm drop again. Now that he was here, he didn't really know what to do or say. "I'll just go then."

Lex hurried forward and placed an arm on Clark's arm to stop him from moving. "I don't think you should just yet. Let's talk." He tightened his hold on Clark's arm just a little bit and guided him to one of the chairs in front of the desk. He turned both chairs so that they were facing each other. Clark sat down and placed the comic book on the desk. Lex sat down as well, resting his elbows on his knees.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay." Clark said, looking down at his lap.

Lex smiled a bit and reached out to place a hand on Clark's arm. This seemed to get Clark's attention because the younger boy looked up at him and Lex saw all the emotion in his bright blue eyes. He saw the sadness, the pain, the hurt and even guilt.

"He was like a little brother to me. He counted on me to save him and I failed."

"No, Clark." Lex disagreed, "You saved him, you took him away from that research facility. You gave him a chance to be with the people he cared about before he … passed away. He died, knowing he was not alone, knowing that he was loved."

"I could've saved him, I should've saved him." Clark said, sounding about as miserable as he felt. Ryan, his little brother, was dead. He was never coming back. Clark had felt really connected with him. Ryan was the only one who had ever truly understood him, who knew how it was to live with a secret, to have this gift that people couldn't know about.

"You couldn't have. You can't save everyone, Clark. You found that doctor and gave Ryan a few more days. I talked to him, it meant the world to him." Lex replied. How Clark got to that doctor was a mystery since even he hadn't been able to reach him directly but he knew this was not the time to question Clark about it. His curiosity had been spiked, he wanted to know but right now, the other boy needed his friend so that's what he would be.

"I should've done more."

"Beating yourself up over this isn't going to help. You've got to believe you made the last few days of his life the best ones he's ever had. He knew he was going to die but by just being there, by caring, you let him forget it as much as possible. It's alright to grieve but don't feel guilty over something that was way beyond your control. It'll only drive you crazy and destroy you. Trust me, I know."

"Your mom?" Clark asked, looking right at him.

Lex smiled a bit and looked down briefly before meeting Clark's gaze again. "Yeah. I told you before I wasn't even there when she passed away. At that moment, I believed I could do something but I was young, very young. I realize now I couldn't have done anything. She knew I was trying to find a cure, she was so proud of me. I found that out later. But it wouldn't have made a difference. I couldn't have saved her and thinking back, it still hurts like hell that I wasn't there when she needed me, that I wasn't there when she died."

"I'm sorry, Lex. You were doing what you thought was the right thing to do." Clark said. Lex could see in his friend's eyes that he meant it. It always amazed Lex how Clark could forget his feelings in order to make others feel better.

"The point is that you should be … glad you got to spend time with him. I know how much you wanted to save him but you couldn't have."

"I know that, Lex." Clark replied and he did, had known it all along. That didn't make it hurt any less. He had all of these abilities and yet he couldn't even save one of the people he cared about the most. What was the point of his abilities then? What did it all matter? "I know it was beyond my control but that doesn't make it easier. Perhaps if I had gotten him out of that hospital earlier, they might've been able to do something." Clark stood up and took a few steps away from Lex, facing away from him.

"Clark, please don't do this to yourself. You couldn't have known that he was being held there." Lex replied, standing up as well and closing the distance again. He hated seeing Clark like this, he hated seeing Clark doubt himself and what he was capable of.

"Guess not." Clark turned around again, "It's just, he was like a little brother to me. I could relate to him. I've always wanted a little brother and for a while, I had one."

"Ryan will always be with you. As long as you remember him, keep him in your heart, he'll be alive."

Clark smiled a bit and Lex returned the smile. "I know. He was so amazing, so passionate about the things he did. I'm really going to miss him."

Clark could feel tears well up in his eyes but he didn't bother holding them back. It was the first time he felt like crying after Ryan's death and he felt like he needed to get it out. He could feel a tear run down his cheek. Lex took another step closer and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him. He realized it was their first hug.

Lex couldn't find anything appropriate to say so he just didn't. Sometimes words weren't needed. All he could offer Clark now was this hug. This was the first time Clark had cried in front of him. For Lex, this definitely was a sign of trust, a sign that Clark trusted him with his feelings and he felt happy about it. The other boy had quickly become his best friend. He'd never before felt like he needed to fight for this friendship. Clark was so pure, so innocent. He felt like the younger male could save him from his destiny somehow. He didn't know how or why but he knew he could. Clark was good, his father … not so much. He needed Clark's influence. He realized though that he shouldn't have thoughts like that at the moment, not when Clark was crying in his arms. It was selfish.

It was not more than two minutes later that Clark pulled away. "Thanks."

"What are friends for?"

Clark smiled. Lex was glad to see it reached his eyes. At least he had succeeded in making his friend feel a little bit better.

"Let's sit back down."

"No, I think I'm gonna go home, see how my parents are. They loved him too. They'll probably wonder where I've disappeared off to anyway. Are you sure you don't want your comic book back? Ryan told me it was pretty rare."

Lex smiled. "I'm pretty sure I can live without it. You should check it out, might just get you hooked."

Clark laughed. "Perhaps." He grabbed the book and spent a few seconds staring at it, thinking about Ryan. When he looked up, Lex was studying him. Like usual, he didn't know what Lex was thinking. His friend was a closed book. It was annoying at times.

"Thanks again for the comic book and the help." Clark said as he gave Lex a quick hug.

Lex smiled, "Speaks for itself. Just drive carefully."

"Hey, I'm the most careful person in the world."

"No, you're the luckiest person in the world. Somehow you always get out unharmed." Lex spoke teasingly.

Clark fidgeted on the spot. "Just hope that luck doesn't run out." He hated lying to Lex but he couldn't tell him. It would put him in danger too. It killed him to have to lie to one of his best friends but he knew he had to, he knew it was for the best.

"I don't think it will." Lex said, keeping his tone carefully neutral. He knew something was up. He knew he had promised to drop it but he couldn't help himself, he couldn't help but wonder. He knew there was nothing there though, that he was being paranoid. He'd seen Clark get hurt. So far for his theory that Clark was invincible. But still, his instinct told him there was something … something Clark was hiding from him and he would find out one day.

"Well, I better go. Talk to you later."

"Yeah, see you." Lex said with a kind of encouraging smile. He watched Clark leave. He just prayed his friend would be okay. He smiled a bit and sat down behind his desk again, switching on his laptop so he could continue his work. His mind wasn't focused on his work very much though. He couldn't help but think about Clark, worry about him but that's what best friends did.

The end 

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